Oh, staying motivation, wherefore art thou, staying motivation?

I know, I know, it's been a LONG time since I've blogged. Looks like I have a couple of followers, but honestly, folks...I'm doing this for me...and my "blogging buddy" who inspired me to do this today!

The thought on my mind today is this: Yes, I am motivated relatively easily, BUT it doesn't STICK. I especially love those little inspirational graphics with a ripped girl and some statement telling me I can look like her if I just keep it up. But, it tends to fade quickly when the carb sirens are singing their sweet, sugary song. Case in point: I'm tired of hubby having 500 or so calories at the end of every day (because he eats 3 meals, no snacks), but me being in the negative on calories needed per day. BUT, as of last night, the snacking has been cut to a minimum. One small 100-calorie pack or something similar between breakfast and lunch and one between lunch and getting off work. I've done pretty well with it today, but OMG, I've been hungry -- and not "head hunger," real hunger. Like, your stomach is growling, hungry. I believe my body's just adjusting, though. I'll make it, of course! Today's agenda so far has been:

Breakfast: 1/2 cup of low-fat cottage cheese with one container of no sugar added peaches, 3 crackers and a wedge of Laughing Cow

Snack: a 100-calorie pack and 3 crackers with a wedge of laughing cow (Should've nixed one of those, ugh.)

Lunch: Lean Cuisine meal, 1/2 cup of low-fat cottage cheese with one container of no-sugar added peaches, and two 100-calorie packs (should've nixed BOTH of those, ugh.)

So, IF I have a snack this afternoon, it will be a spoon of peanut butter. Dinner...I'm not sure what he's preparing for dinner, but at this point, I have a little more than 900 calories left, according to My Fitness Pal. That doesn't count what I may burn tonight at the gym! :) Stay tuned, faithful few, I will do my best to update daily! Have a blessed day!

Journaling

Hey again, everyone! So, I was talking to my friend Rachel this morning, and she sent me a food journal template. It's so cute, has an apple and pear on it, both smiling, LOL! Breakfast? Bad! I had no idea how many calories were in sausage biscuits or Cheddar Rounds from Pal's. OMG, and apparently, the calorie content has increased by 17 in their tea, from 160 to 187. BUT, lunch was much better -- 1/2 of the large salad I made for myself at Food City and a small Gala apple. I've also had 2-1/2 cups of water, working on another 2-1/2 before dinner. Shouldn't be hard, since we're working out tonight. That will be another entire bottle right there. :)

Speaking of working out, Hubby and I have decided on four days per week, cardio AND strength, for the next four weeks (OK, 27 days) until we get on the plane for Florida. Hopefully, we can get me (AND him) in good enough shape to do some walking at Busch Gardens and some other places without cringing. I'm sure we'll have to rest and stuff, but hopefully, we can get to the point that it doesn't kill us to walk 50 feet. We're going to see some of the wild animals, i.e. big cats, at Busch Gardens, taking a dolphin cruise and going to the Clearwater Marine Aquarium to see Winter Dolphin. :) Also planning to take in some movies and shopping, and it's the Kick-Off of Restaurant Week there. Apparently, $20/person to sample over 40 restaurants. That will obviously be our dinner that night, haha! I still don't want to go crazy while we're there and backtrack over all we've accomplished.

Time to go refill my water, woohoo! :)

No more...

I've come to a decision, folks! No more sugar for me. No more sweet tea, no more sodas, no more sweets. It makes me feel yucky...and hot. I want to go back to things like bananas and apples tasting sweet, as God make them. Our "Made to Crave" study was very good last night. Rachel and I facilitated, and I think we did OK. :) I keep thinking this one phrase, though..."Yes, God loves you no matter what your size...but He loves you enough to not leave you defeated." Why have I let temporary pleasure take away my long-term happiness? Yes, this has cost me long-term things. I'm 36 years old, and my back and feet ache. I feel like I'm 10 years older, even 20 years older, than I really am. It's not right. I know I've made some changes, but I think this is the big one. This is the true basic evil that pulls me in every time. It's not that I eat too much in one sitting (thanks to my surgery) or that I eat too much fat. It's the sugar...which makes me want more sugar, which makes me want more sugar. It's a vicious cycle that HAS...TO...STOP. I didn't come to terms with it until last night, and at lunch, I made my decision. My wedding anniversary is Thursday, and we had planned on going to a restaurant quite a long drive away, but I don't want to go now because the only reason I wanted to go was the coconut cream pie. No more. I'm tired of it. Thanks for your support and kind words. They keep me going. :)

(insert witty title here)

So, I thought I'd just throw an update out there. Not much to say, but we meet again with our trainer on Sunday. Hopefully, I'll have dropped more weight. Or at least some body fat. That stupid little machine you hold reads an error every time I hold it. So, Trevor has to work with the settings, use the "male" reading and then convert for me. That's OK, though, because last time, it said I'd lost 8% body fat!

I've pushed it up to level 6 on the step machine instead of 5, and I've upped my steps from 3600 to 4200. Steven did 4400 last night, though. Or, was it 4500? Either way, he beat me! It's funny, though, I don't really break a sweat unless we're doing strength training. The last two days, we've only been able to get to the cardio (step), but today, tomorrow and Friday, we're doing cardio AND strength.

I've been adding more water to my day, too. Still not nearly as much as I SHOULD be taking in, but I'm getting there. 39 days to get my hips more narrow to fit more easily in that plane seat! Hope you all have a fabulous day!

She's a maniac, maniac on the gym floor...

Hey guys! I hope you've had a great week! We haven't been to the gym since Monday because of prior commitments. Since we've kicked it up a notch, this is gonna hurt, LOL! BUT, I am so much more motivated when it comes to what I put in my mouth when we're regularly working out. I'm not killing myself on the NuStep machine and weight machines just to work off that cookie or cheeseburger. The next few days, I'm hoping for Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. In addition to beefing up our workout, Trevor has asked us to look at our calorie intake over two or three days. I've been a little slack on my calorie intake the last few days. So, counting those calories (just for an idea) might not be such a bad idea. It will give us a good idea of what we're REALLY taking in. We had pizza last night (long story), and I think we both paid for it. Ugh.

I need to add some good, motivational songs to my gym playlist, so throw those suggestions my way! Thanks for tuning in, hope you have a great weekend! :)

Happy First Day of Spring! :)

Spring seems to have been here for a couple of weeks now, but today is officially the first day, yippee! I'm celebrating with capris and sandals. ;)

So, my friend Missy inspired me to blog today, as she is doing an awesome job updating her blog/vlog. In fact, she interviewed me recently about why I blog, how often I (don't) blog, etc. I'm excited to be having dinner with her and another good friend, Rachel, tonight. Olive Garden will be tempting, but my plan is to stay with all-you-can-eat salad and soup with water. I'm not kicking my tail in the gym like I did the last two days to ruin it with alfredo sauce!!! Speaking of, our sweet little trainer Trevor decided to "intensify" our workout. I was all for this, as I didn't feel like I'd been doing enough. I wasn't really breaking a sweat, after all. Be careful what you wish for! We went from 2 sets of 15 reps on 8 machines to 3 sets of 15, PLUS 4 sets of 15 on two of our leg exercises. AND, up from 10 minutes to 30 minutes on the NuStep machine. AND, a total of 5 laps around the track. *whew* I'm tired just thinking about it. But, it felt GOOD to sweat, it felt GOOD to be tired. It felt GOOD to PUSH. And, it's inspired me to really think about what I'm putting in my mouth. My appetite seems to have diminished some as well. I'm afraid to even THINK the words, "I wonder if this is the time it will work." So, I'll just keep the mindset of "I'm going to get healthy," then make/reach the goal of STAYING healthy. :) I even updated the playlist on my iPod. ;D

Food for thought...

So, Steven and I had a wonderful weekend. We had a great time in Asheville, seeing the Celtic Woman tour, dining at quaint places and even at the Grove Park Inn! What views and what nice people. The weather was gorgeous as well. I will tell you, though, I had trouble with the seating at the venue. I wasn't surprised. Small auditorium seats with hard arms can do that to a big girl. BUT, there was no wall or seats in front of us, so that was a plus! :) Good weekend all around, even after a lengthy, hard conversation with my dear, sweet husband.

Yesterday, we had a long talk while in the parking lot of Catherine's. Basically, he told me he's tired of us fighting over food. And, he should be. He always has to play the bad guy with me, saying, "Sweetie, you really shouldn't have eaten that cookie," or this or that. He is much stronger than me when it comes to this. He put down Diet Pepsis almost a year ago and hasn't touched them since. That simple, just stopped. With me, sweet tea (and probably sugar in its simplest form) is a drug for me. I call it the Nectar of the Gods, and I am not joking, people. I told him I'm giving it up. Period. If he can do that with Diet Pepsis when he drank probably a 2-liter or two per day...I can do it, too. So, today, it's water. It may have to be flavored with something to begin with, but I'm going to wean myself off of that. I just want something with flavor.

And, honestly, I was thinking, are the foods I give everything up for REALLY that good? I mean, I'll be honest. This weekend, I had a burger at the place called Corner Kitchen in Biltmore Village. It was locally grown, grain-fed beef, and it was amazing. THAT as a treat every now and then is TRULY good. A Blizzard from DQ or a doughnut? Seriously? Not that great. Having it every day is not worth it. I was telling Steven yesterday, though, that it's hard for me to wrap my head around the future and the consequences this all will bring. Even the thought of an early death due to these habits is hard for me to grasp. I've never had much luck really getting a feel for the future. It's all about here and now for me. Doing what I what when I want to do it. I told him that, to me, eating like I do is me being in control, eating what I want. He said something brilliantly simple..."No, Char, that's the FOOD controlling YOU." And, he's so right! While in tears yesterday during this conversation, I prayed to God to give me the desire to do this, to give me the desire to give up these foods that aren't good for me. I need His help. I look at all the times I've failed, and it's just like it's too big to conquer.

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me time and time again.
"Boy, you'll never win! You'll never win!"

...

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win! You'll never win!"

For crying out loud, I've been getting up at 5:45 most weekday mornings to hit the gym. I've got to convince myself that I can, that I have to. So, friends, please keep me in your prayers. Love you all! :)